Monday, 19 June 2017

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked Tag

Hi guys, so I was tagged my the very lovely Melissa to do the 50 questions you've never been asked tag, like Melissa said on her blog this is such a great idea to get to know each other on more of a personally level. I loved Melissa's and when I finished reading her post I couldn't wait to begin my own. So let's get to it. Enjoy. x

1. Whats your favourite candle scent?
I love smelling candles but only when they haven't been lit because even the non smelling ones give me a horrendous headache, but the smells I like are summery candle smell. The Yankee Candle - Sunset Breeze smells amazing.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Jennifer Lawrence or Sandra Bullock.

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki

4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
Well I got engaged when I was 23, so any time now but definitely before I'm 30.

5. Do you know a hoarder?
Yes I do actually and I'm proud that it isn't me. Haha!

6. Can you do the splits?
Oh hell NO!

7. How old were you when you first learned to ride a bike?
I was late in this department because I had terrible balance which resulted in the removal of my tonsils but after that I learned pretty quickly, I think I was 10.

8. How many oceans have you swam in?
I've swam in two, maybe three I'd have to look at a map. Hahaha!

9. How many countries have you visited?
So far only one, France last year. It was amazing.

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
My brother and uncle was in the army.

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
I have two daughters and their names are Mia and Robyn, the only two girls names I liked.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?
If we had a boy we had the name Logan.

13. What's the worst grade you've got in a test?
I got a U in G.C.S.E Math. Around 40 of us sat a Math exams this one morning and we thought we were done as it was the last one, it turned out we sat the wrong exam and we missed our actual exam, so instead of grading the one we did, they gave everyone a U and said if we wanted to re take the test we'd have to pay £35, I was one of the few that said no and took my U and waved goodbye to my school. Hahahaha!

14. What was your favourite TV show as a kid?
That's So Raven, I loved this show.

15. What did you dress up as for Halloween when you were 8?
I was a Witch and I remember making the hat our of a Kellogg's cereal box, it was awesome. I loved going around pretending to put spells on me and cursing my brothers. Hahaha!

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
I've read the Harry Potters and the Hunger Games, I tried reading the Twilight series but I couldn't get into them, yet I LOVE the films.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British one?
I'll keep my Essex accent thank you very much. LOL.

18. Did your mother go to university?

19. Are your grandparents still married?

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
Now if binge watching Jackie Chan movies count as lessons then yes but then no. Haha.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

22. What was the first amusement park you went to/
I think it was Alton Towers.

23. What language beside your native language would you like to be fluent in?
Italian or Russian sounds fun.

24. Do you spell the colour Grey or Gray?

25. Is your father bald?
I wouldn't know, I haven't seen or spoke to him in 8 years.

26. Do you know any triplets?
I do.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I love The Notebook but Titanic will win every time.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?
Yes and it is amazing, I could eat a Chicken Madras right now, it might be morning but I don't care. Hahaha!

29. What's the name of your favourite restaurant?
Can I say Dominos? Hahaha.

30. Have you ever been to Nandos?
Yes and I don't really see the hype, it's only chicken.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores? (Costco, Bookers ect)
Urm nope.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
I don't know they've never told me but they knew I was going to be a girl so maybe they never had anything male for me.

33. If you have a nickname what is it?
Zo / Beast (don't ask it's not a welcomed nickname) / Candy

34. Who's your favourite person in the world?
Can I do a top 5 - Nick, My girls, My Mum and the band The Backstreet Boys. Hahahaha.

35. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?
I love the city but the countryside is where my heart is.

36. Can you whistle?
No and please don't talk about it, it's a sore subject for me :(

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
Dude, I'm 25 not 5 haha.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

There is no 39th question.

40. What medical conditions do you have?
Yes it's called Henoch-Schonlein Purpura, it's a rare condition where my blood vessels become inflamed. It's not painful but when you have a rash covering most of your skin and billions of tiny red dots, you turn heads.

41. Have many times have you been to hospital?
Only twice as an adult, giving birth but I was in hospital a lot as a child, I suffered with fits a lot and I had a meningitis scare. 

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Yes and honestly maybe too many times.

43. Where do you buy your jeans?
Anywhere that sells them for the bigger girl. Peacocks do a good jean. 

44. What's the last compliment you got?
When someone told me they could definitely see that I had lost a significant amount of weight. I was very happy.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
Yes, I've even remembered enough to write them down.

46. What flavour tea do you enjoy?
Coffee Coffee Coffee

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
I wouldn't force any of my beliefs on my children, when they get to an age where they can make their own choices and decisions they can believe in anything they want, as long as they are happy.

49. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real?
WHAT!?!?! SANTA ISN'T REAL!!!!! Well I guess it's 25. Hahaha!

50. Why do you have a blog?
I blog because it's a little place in the great world wide web just for me, where I can write and talk about anything I want, to share my journey as a mother, a weightloss journey passenger, and someone who maybe after years of being felt silenced has finally got her voice and she is using it.

Well guys, I hoped you enjoyed this and encourage everyone to do this, it was fun.

I'll be tagging a few people on Twitter, because my blogger isn't allowing me to link anymore blogs to this post.


Sunday, 18 June 2017

LIVE Blogging - 17th June 2017 - The Sunset

Hi guys, first of all a little bit about me that some might not know, from the beginning of this year I have been writing in a daily diary, a little therapeutic thing I do to help me unwind from my day and to clear my mind of everything, honestly it's been the best thing that I've done in a long time. Anyways I thought how could I entwine my diary entries with my blog, so I've decided every now and then just to keep my blog fresh and a little current, I'm going to do a few LIVE blogging posts and to start I will be sharing with you guys what I spoke into my voice recorder last night when I went and watched the sunset, something I do A LOT! This image below is of last nights sunset.

'I am writing this post as I'm looking out to the sea, I'm watching the sun go down and I could honestly stand here forever, the fresh air the clear blue sky, the ocean's perfect. It's so close yet so far that I couldn't touch it, it's one of those things that I always dreamed of doing as a kid, I grew up wanting to be by the sea.....grew up dreaming, wishing that this is where I'd live and as I stand here knowing that my home is literally 15 minutes away, I couldn't be more complete, feeling that warmth on my skin knowing that I'm going to take that last ray of sun back home with me to finish my day, that my day has ended with clear skies and the sun setting on the beautiful blue ocean, it's incredible.

I'm looking at it now just....watching it, that clear line where the blue meets that soft amber colour of the sun, the suns glow taking up that little bit of sky before it hits blue, that little sliver of green between, it's truly the most perfect thing I've ever seen. The waves rolling in hitting the cliffs, the sun light spraying billions of glittery specks onto the ocean, standing in front of that one line from land across the water to the sun, wow. I'm totally just....this never gets old, I will always feel this way and with a smile on my face as I say this, it's just perfect. This is my home. This is where my heart is. This is where I belong, by the sea.'

It's short and sweet but unlike any of my other posts, it's maybe a lot more personal and it shows me a bit more personally than my other posts. I was really anxious to write this because usually it would have gone in my diary and stayed there for no-one to read. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know below whether some more posts like this will be something you would like to see more of. X

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Finishing My Book.

Writing those last words felt like a world I'd created was being ripped from me, characters I had grown to know more than anyone were to never have a page for them again, my heart had been broken. Writing, I felt was always in me to do and every thing I wrote was connected to me, a part of me even in fiction was in between the line. As I wrote those last words I remembered those few months of writers block that prevented my pen to bleed on to the lined paper, I remembered those late night writing sessions till two in the morning, my eyes falling to a close but resisting sleep as I knew if I didn't get this written down I would lose it forever. Writing this book with full intention of it being my first to publish was a different writing experience to anything else, I was writing for myself but other people, I was writing for you not just for me. These characters I pulled along and gave problems, heart break and life to was now being set in stone for everyone else to see.

For a little bit of humour I wrote the words 'The End' and when my first intention was to giggle at it, a black cloud rolled over a moment I was to celebrate but I didn't, I couldn't, I just kept seeing 'End' and it was suddenly a moment filled with sadness because it was over, those lives were over and won't come to life next until someone reads their story, my story. It was a profound feeling, one I can't really explain but I felt an emptiness in my chest, I had nothing else to write for these characters, I had done everything I could possibly do for them and now it's over.

When I started this I thought about the end but not really, I didn't anticipate the emotions I will feel, I never dreamed that I would, I had grown attached without really realising it, I'd become a part of this story without knowing it, I had just wrote my first story and every minute, hour, piece of scrap paper used in the process felt insignificant all of a sudden. A part of me was done, completed, ready for the world to see and that thought scared me the most.

My words, my story, the characters I created were ready to be viewed, judged and maybe loved by others, that's a thought provoking issue that scares me because it's me, everything I put in this story is a part of me and having it ready for others to see makes it hard and that paper shredder starts to look like your saviour in times of doubt and darkness.

So yes, if you haven't guessed I wrote a book, haha. My first book with full intention of publishing. I thought the first phase of this process was scary but this second phase I'm about to embark on is more terrifying, but I can do this, four words I tell myself everyday.

Is there a journey any of you guys have embarked on that has come to an end, or will be soon? If so, how are you coping? Comment below. X

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Why I Love Disney

Disney doesn't bullshit.

Now I can go on for pages and pages and make endless lists to why Disney is great and the fact that I could do that scares me slightly but I'm sure I'm not the only one. I can list my favourite songs which I know all my favourites by heart, I can tell you my favourite characters and how Flynn Riders smoulder makes me giggle every time I see it. I can express how I get butterflies in my belly when Ariel gets her voice back and Eric realises it was her all along. I can tell you how my eyes well up at the sight of seeing Dopeys little face crying as the Dwarfs sit around Snow Whites body and how much I laugh at Mushu from Mulan but I'm not going to because Disney is more than the Once Upon a Time and Happily Ever After, and like how I started this post, Disney doesn't bullshit.

Disney shows us everything horrible and disturbing about life, animates it, gives it a killer soundtrack and it's rated PG, perfect for the whole family, written like this I would see how some would be like, no not Disney so let me explain.

I was watching Tangled the other day and that was what triggered this whole post, in Tangled we see Mother Gothel kidnap Rapunzel. kidnaps her let me stop you right there, as a parents I know that would be my worse nightmare, as a parent you don't even imagine those scenarios because they are too painful to just think about, but Disney gives it a sparkly setting, her hairs a glowing and it's a scene met with 'ah no' instead of devastation. then we actually see her stab Flynn Rider, she STABS him with a knife, an act that in some countries is still met with the death penalty. WTF Disney, but giving it a twist and show their love for each other and it's a magical moment. When in reality it's fucked up.

I'm not blasting Disney, I love Disney I really do if anything I praise them for showing just how life is sometimes, dark, scary and pretty twisted and `giving` it that little sparkle that in life you won't find, I like that instead of them creating films that are unrealistic and unworldly they are putting in every nightmare, every horrible thing that could happen in life and give it a musical number and some added Disney magic and it's suitable for all ages making them timeless classics. Disney shows us many things for example, abandonment, bullying, lies, death and even theft.

One of my favourite quotes is from Zootopia and there's a line that Cheif Bogo says,

"Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and your insipid dreams magically come true," 

and I personally think it's the most truthful thing any Disney character has ever spoke about life, and that's why Disney is great and I'll repeat again, what I said twice already Disney doesn't bullshit.

Do you agree? It there a Disney moment that would be your worst nightmare if it happened to you? Comment below. x

Saturday, 20 May 2017

The Vampire Diaries. Where Have You Been All My Life?

If you know me well enough and clearly now even if you don't you'll know that every now and then I like to indulge in a little movie marathon under the name The Twilight Saga, I know, I know it's sappy and I HATE I ABSOLUTELY HATE that they sparkle, that really makes me mad lol, especially as some of my ideas and pictures of vampires should look like the type from The Lost Boys and From Dusk Til Dawn. I don't even know why I even like Twilight, but then again they do say vampires have the ability to draw you in but I can safely say it wasn't Edwards eyebrows.

Now when it comes to TV vampires there has only been one that I've really loved. Being Human and those flying decapitated heads of vampires in the Supernatural episodes, so when my mum told me to try the Vampire Diaries I was hesitant, I could not handle another Twilight high school love triangle full of glittery blood suckers but I'm glad to have been able to prove myself wrong because it wasn't and one big giant YIPPEE those mother blood suckers burn in the sun, WOOHOO! YES!

I was hooked from the first episode and seeing that Netflix has seven seasons for me, it's made me extremely happy, I love Stefan although his little human blood lust thing was weird, and does he ever give anyone else a slight Justin Bieber vibe? Just me? Then there is Damon who in the beginning creeped me out big time, I'll admit I didn't like him in the beginning but he is growing on me annoyingly and I'm starting to trust him but I feel like he is going to make me regret it. haha!

Katherine seems like a right bitch. I love Elena's character and Bonnie is such a lovable character, when her grams died I needed buckets to collect my tears. I'm at this very moment watching the end of the Season One finale and it's been a roller coaster of a journey. Damon has sneaked his way on to Elenas mouth and I'm not entirely happ............OH SHIT you know I said I was watching the final episode well HOLY SHIT Katherine is BACK and she just killed Uncle John and Netflix has asked me the most silliest question 'Continue Watching' like hell yes I do.

Now I'm writing this LIVE right now and it all makes sense I knew Elena wouldn't kiss Damon, anyways I am currently in the progress of writing a few future blog posts to get back into it, I have got a little lost and wandered off the path I wanted to be on when I created this blog, but things are going well even though I've got this nasty bug/cold which has knocked me completely out but it's given me some time to figure stuff out.

I've come away from Twitter and Blogger for a while and have missed a bit, so please, hey guys what's every one been up to? Have I missed anything? X

Saturday, 6 May 2017

This Time Last Year!

I was pregnant but not just pregnant, this time last year my waters broke. They just broke and it was the most strangest feeling in the world, I couldn't stop it and I was standing in front of my mother-in-law saying those exact words 'I can't stop it' our second baby girl was on her way and I hadn't even really registered how painful it was going to be.

So let's go back the 6th of May, it was exactly 5 days from my due date and I was getting our home ready for our new baby, my mum was travelling on the 9th to stay with us so I was unnecessarily rushing myself for things that could've waited (but tell a pregnant woman not to do something and she'll do it anyway). The couple of weeks leading up to this day Nick and I had been re-arranging our flat, put some carpet down and all that jazz and for Mia while I was doing the little work I could manage I put on Gnomeo and Juliet which she fell in love with.

Nick had sat with her and watched it but for some reason I hadn't been able to actually just sit and watch the whole film, until the 6th of May I decided to watch it for the first time, I was tired, Mia wanted mummy cuddles so we sat and watched the film and it was amazing, I loved. I stood as the credit rolled and my water broke.

It was like Robyn was waiting for me to watch Gnomeo and Juliet fully before coming, it felt so strange. I'd been putting off watching this movie and the moment I do, I go into labour.

Long story short, I managed to eat a Big Mac in between contractions because I was starving, I amused Nick a lot that ride to the hospital. Haha. We were at the hospital for a few hours then got sent home, we manage a few hours sleep before we had to go back to the hospital and I was given a room and a pretty HUGE tank of gas which I was pretty high off from 3 in the morning to around 2ish that day.

Robyn Rose Long was born 7th May 2017, 12:07pm and she was perfect.

My family now contained Nick, Mia, Robyn and I, it was complete and I couldn't feel anymore love than I did that day. You see after Mia we knew straight away that we wanted to have another but once Robyn was born we knew it was right, we were complete there was going to be no more bubu's coming out of my who-ha!

After Robyn was born I had no idea I would be catapulted into this weightloss journey that I didn't even know I was ready for. This year has been a roller-coaster of ups and downs, spirals and nose dives, I haven't got the foggiest how I've managed to not break but I haven't. I have my goal and my motivations to get there. 

I have a beautiful family who I love with every inch of me, this time last year I became a mummy for the second time but I also gained control back of my body. I gained confidence that I lost years ago and my whole mentality changed, and what I've learned over this past year can never be bought, replaced and sold for the second time (haha) also that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE. X

Thursday, 27 April 2017

We Need To Stop Bashing Each Other.

*I must state this has not happened to me personally, but I keep seeing it happen and it's starting to rub me the wrong way*

Leave people alone!

I'd like to say I am active on social media, especially my Instagram more so than anything else and I post frequent/daily posts, food posts, motivational pictures and sweaty post workout selfies and thankfully I haven't come across as much hate as some other people who I follow, who are on similar journeys and who are amazing, and I've began to notice that a lot of the time it's other fitness/weightloss people who are throwing the same shit as the people who throw it but are sitting on their asses. So naturally I am confused by this, I thought everyone was in it together, I thought I'd see encouragement and praise and a lot of the time I do but about 5% of the time I'm seeing hate and it's really starting to piss me off. (excuse my French) 

If you LIFT, who are YOU to tell someone who doesn't, they're not going to achieve their goal?

If you do solely CARDIO, who are YOU to tell someone who lifts, 'ah you're never going to lose weight, you'll just bulk up and look like a man'


Unless you are someones doctor, nutritionist or mother, you have no right in your little self to give advice, or tell someone they're not doing something right, just because it's not what you're doing. 

and one more small thing

There are some big women out there who are spreading the body positive message in saying, no matter what size you are, you are beautiful and I TOTALLY SUPPORT that message, but please don't come to me and tell me it's a shame I AM not embracing my body as it is.

Let me just say one thing, my body is mine and at this moment of time it is the heaviest it has EVER been in my whole entire 25 years of existence and I DON'T accept this weight. I accepted that this was where my body went at this certain time but I will not accept that this is where my body will always be in the future. So don't tell me it's a shame, don't shame me for not accepting my body how it is now, that's my problem one I'm tackling.

I feel like weightloss and fitness is seen as a religion to some people and some people like to thrust their way on to others, well guess what, it's not religion it's a lifestyle choice and change and if I'm happy if anyone is happy with how they're doing it. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

As always peace and love. X