Saturday, 24 December 2016

Christmas Tag - Christmas Eve

I've failed blogmas but it's ok because I have been consumed by Christmas, my mum travelled down Wednesday to spend Christmas with us and yesterday I did a little bit of last minute shopping. So I don't feel bad about failing Christmas, but I couldn't not post before Christmas day so I have found a Christmas Tag that I will do today.


One last thing, I truly wish everyone a Merry Christmas, I hope your day is full of Christmas joy and cheer and your bellies full of Turkey and chocolate. X

Let's go...

1. What's your favourite Christmas film?

The Grinch. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas if I wasn't able to watch this film. I love it so much, it's the first Christmas film I have ever watched in the cinema and actually the only Christmas film I have seen in the cinema, it was pure magic and every year that is relived when I watch this. 


2. Have you ever had a White Christmas?

I lived in Essex growing up and we always had snow around January, beginning of March time which is totally weird but that was the normal thing we expected but I recall a White Christmas when I was younger, really young like I can only see little scenes, I can remember the crunch of the snow and I was really small. This could've been a dream for all I know. haha.


3. Where do you usually spend Christmas?

Since Nick and I moved into our own home, Christmas has been spent at home. Before then I spent my first Christmas with Nick at his mum and dads and before then with my mum in Essex before I moved.


4. What's your favourite Christmas song?

This question can't surely be one answered correctly. I have a top five though haha. You can't beat a bit of Mariah Carey with All I Want For Christmas, Shakin' Stevens Merry Christmas is a classic. I love love love The Pogues and Kirsty McColl Fairytale of New York is one I listen to and imagine myself walking through New York as it snows. I have a soft spot of a bit of the Biebs at Christmas with Mistletoe. Lastly Faith Hills Where Are You Christmas is beautiful and I secretly imagine myself belting that out.


5. Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

Nope, Never have done that, I didn't even think that was a things, I've noticed a load of parents doing to now on Facebook with their children. Personally I don't like it but if you do it with your children that's cool. 


6. Can you name all of Santas reindeer? 

Rudolph, Comet, Vixen, Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen, Cupid, Dasher. I may have cheated haha and I may have wrote out Donner first as Dinner and got real hungry I was distracted.


7. What holiday traditions are you most looking forward to this year?

I think it's just the entire day of Christmas day, it's never really changed which makes me happy. We wake, we open presents, breakfast then start Christmas dinner, eat drink and generally be merry. I think we'll have more traditions once the girls are older as they're technically still babies. 


8. Is your Christmas tree, real or fake?

It's fake, I couldn't deal with a fake tree, they're not symmetrical and I wouldn't be able to decorate it properly and that makes me very anxious, and whats the deal with the bottom being all bushy and the top skinny. To me it doesn't look healthy.


9. What is your all-time favourite food/sweet treat?

For a sweet treat I love all the chocolate it's the only time of year where it's acceptable to eat like the turkey you've just cooked. In food sense everything that is on my dinner plate for Christmas dinner. I could live on stuffing if it was nutritional enough to live on.


10. Be honest: Do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?

I love to watch people open their presents from me, especially if they've told me not to get them any thing and they're generally surprised or if you've found something you know they would really love. But there's something about not knowing what you're going to get and the excitement and just pure happiness that comes from it all is amazing. I love it. 


11. What is the best Christmas gift you've ever received?

I don't know, I don't even think I've had a gift I didn't like. I love Christmas and what ever I receive I love and am truly grateful, I'm just happy and lucky to be able to get something, especially when there are people who get nothing. Christmas isn't a time to be petty and selfish over gifts.


12. What would your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

There's two, New York which I think is an obvious one but only if it snows, I couldn't do a New York Christmas without snow, I'm sorry it would be wrong. Second place would be Iceland at Christmas, stay in a cabin with an open fire and to see the northern lights and be surrounded by snow, that would be my dream Christmas.


13. Are you a Pro-Present wrapper or do you fail miserably?

I love wrapping presents and I never fail. Hahaha


14. Most memorable holiday moment?

Would have to be realising I was pregnant with my first child, Nick and I couldn't get into a shop for a pregnancy test but we just knew and when I went to the doctors the day after Boxing Day it turned out I was pregnant. All my Christmases have been pretty great to be honest.


15. What made you realise the truth about Santa?

I think I was nine or ten and I had wrote a letter to Santa and left it for him Christmas Eve, there was a reply Christmas morning and I recognised the hand writing from my mums completed cross word puzzles. I was fine with it I think. 


16. Do you make New Years Resolutions? Do you stick to them?

I used to and no I never did, I usually forget about them by January 2nd. Haha. I've grown up now and chose to never wait for the New Year and Mondays, just start and do it.


17. What makes the holidays special to you?

Spending time with family, just be together is what it's really all about. I love the food and the presents are a bonus but it really is all about my childrens faces, seeing the family members that actually matter, spending quality time with those you love and appreciate. 


Have a wonderful Christmas




Wednesday, 21 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day Nine - How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Now I love watching Elf and I enjoy sitting in front of the TV and watch Home Alone 1 & 2 at Christmas. I can watch The Santa Claus movies, morning noon and night, they're amazing. I love Love Actually, Jingle All The Way and Christmas with the Kranks. Many of my favourite Christmas movies include Arthur Christmas, Surviving Christmas and the Polar Express. 
I even traditionally watch Just Friends every Christmas and I truly believe Die Hard is a Christmas movie, because it is and it's awesome. But there is one Christmas movie that reigns supreme...

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Now I absolutely love this movie, it's the first and only Christmas movie I ever saw in the cinema, my mum took my brother Toby and I to see it and I remember grabbing a Lara Croft movie poster after on my way out, I was 11 and wanted to be her. 


Yesterday I watched The Grinch for the first time this year which is rare as I've usually watched this movie at least 10 times in November. It's just one of those movies that captures everything about Christmas and more and the fact it's all set in a snowflake makes it pretty damn magical. 

That's something I really love about this movie, the thought that a whole world could exist on a small snowflake, something so beautiful and fragile that being the snowflake hold a community of Whos, that was magic for me and it still is. The fact that its a Dr. Seuss plays a huge part, he is genius. The colours, the costumes, the characters everything in this movie is like the most over the top decorated Christmas tree in the world.

Yes the Grinch may be the most scariest looking character to ever grace a Christmas movie but it all turns out good in the end, his heart grows when he realises Christmas isn't about what is in the stores and that Christmas is maybe something a little bit more and upon that realisation he saves Christmas after stealing it and he joins the Whos in their Christmas celebration. Now if that isn't shoving Christmas spirit in your face, I just don't know what is. 

I took a couple of days off Blogmas, days Seven and Eight to be exact. I have been ill so I wanted to just recover and have a couple of days catching up on the true meaning of Christmas, by sitting with Nick and our girls and enjoying Christmas movies because truthfully the Christmas excitement fizzled out a bit over the weekend, and this post was originally supposed to be a list of great Christmas movies but I decided I wanted to give this day of Blogmas solely to The Grinch because no-one should be alone at Christmas.

Well now if I asked the Grinch how he felt about the other months of the year, do you think his answer would be...

'Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!'

X

Sunday, 18 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day Six - Flashback Christmas

There is something I seem to always do now at Christmas as an adult and that is looking back on past Christmases, looking back at Christmases as a child and it brings me so much joy I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and a smile spreads across my face. I remember we had a stocking each at the end of our beds that we were able to open when we woke, before stampeding down the stairs around the tree. We were made to eat cereal before opening out presents which was just mean, because everyone knows an excited child just can not comprehend anything else other than tearing through hoards of wrapping paper. We were also made to read the labels so we knew who got us that present, jeez how many more delays can a girl take?


Our mum used to distribute our gifts randomly under the tree every year so we were able to search, forage I'd say for the gifts with our names on and toss aside the one that didn't bare my name in the direction of whose it was, but this one Christmas my brother Toby decided to wake early and go down stairs and make us our own little present pile. That was the year I wanted a guitar but my mum said I might not be able to get one, so my hopes weren't high, I wasn't expecting one. Until we were marching down stairs slowly in hope they would forget breakfast existed and there it was, a guitar shaped present in festive wrapping with a tag made out of last years Christmas cards. I freaked.

Another year I needed the new Busted Live album and I knew I was getting it, I sneaked a peek a saw a CD shaped gift and my name was on it, so I knew what it was. I knew I was going to be rocking out to 3 AM and She Wants To Be Me the entire day and by Boxing Day I would know all words to the entire track list, but did that happen. NO!

Come Christmas morning no CD I was a little upset, I kept it in though and clearly depressed I commenced to walking around the house listening to their old album, singing out loud to Sleeping With The Light On and then about the 7th of January the next year because my mum liked to keep the tree and decorations up for my sisters birthday, my mum asked me, why was I listening to there old album?'. I was hurt, how can she be so cruel, rubbing it in like that. LOVE YOU MUM! I replied with a very snotty pre teen reply of 'Well does it look like I have their new album? No.' She looked confused so as she started to take down the tree one branch level at a time we found a CD shaped present sitting on the bottom level covered in branches. MY ALBUM IT WAS THERE, I WASN'T CRAZY, I KNEW IT. YES! I may have got enough excited to have cried a little, I don't remember.


Looking back on past Christmases is fun and something I hope our girls can do when they get older and even maybe one day share with their children.

Saturday, 17 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day Five - Rocking Around The Christmas Tree to the best Christmas songs ever!

All I want for Christmas is you, Santa Baby, Rocking around the Christmas Tree, so, Step Into Christmas, a Holly Jolly Christmas, because, I'll be home for Christmas, so, Do They Know It's Christmas, O Holy Night, because, Santa Claus is coming to town, he was here, Last Christmas, Baby it's Cold Outside, but we'll be there, Fairytale of New York, dreaming of a, White Christmas, oh, Merry Christmas Everyone.

Yes that is 14 Christmas songs mashed together into a little Christmas message. if that works yay me, if it didn't I apologise.


Christmas music is really the top phenomenon to happen in December that will definitely let you know it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. (I couldn't resist that one) Whether you are at home and you hear the bells jingle in Slades - Merry Christmas play through the advert or you'll hear Mariah Carey belting out, all she wants for Christmas down the bread aisle, or you're in your car when Shaking Stevens starts wishing a Merry Christmas everyone, you want to move, you want to sing, sing along to these great classic Christmas songs. I love nearly all except one, I don't want to cause conflict but don't be telling me you're driving home for Christmas. 

So hear is my list of favourite Christmas songs, I can't help but screech along to.

Mariah Carey
All I Want For Christmas Is You

Mud
Lonely This Christmas

Shaking Stevens
Merry Christmas Everyone

Bing Crosby
White Christmas

Slade
Merry Christmas Everyone

Wizzard
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday 

Justin Bieber
Mistletoe (go ahead judge me)

The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl
Fairytale of New York

Band Aid
Do They Know It's Christmas

Are any of these songs on your list of favourites? If so drop a comment.

x

Thursday, 15 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day Four - My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

                 I am too old to do this I know but it's Christmas and hopefully a letter that hasn't got 'I've been good this year,' and 'I want this, this and that,' included might make a nice change.

A part of me would always love to believe someone like you exist, I believed in you once for so many years and now as a mother I will believe in you again. I wasn't angry when I found out, it was really obvious, we never had a chimney but it was ok. I don't know why it wasn't a big deal when I learned that the figure I believed in for so many years, a big red jolly entity that created so much joy and happiness was no longer real. As an adult now I would like to believe that someone like you existed to retain just a little bit of my childhood purity.

I have two little girls with my partner Nick, who sent you a letter on his behalf to you a few years ago, I hope you liked it, he liked your reply. Anyway back to the little ones I hope that they will believe in you as much as I did and I would love for them to never lose that belief.

I remember asking for fairy wings for Christmas one year and I remember giving my mum a list of items that were carefully mass picked from the Argos catalogue, this happened every year, all I wanted was presents I would forget about mid-February if lucky. Now there are some things I do want but they'd last all year and many years after. Now I'm a grown up I feel like the presents are not so important anymore, don't get me wrong I love me some presents but for myself and my family there are some gifts I would love.

So because I feel like I want you to exist I will include a list of gifts I'd like from you because I believe in magic in this world.
  1. Good health for myself, Nick, Mia and Robyn. My family.
  2. A solid roof over our heads.
  3. Warmth
  4. Food in our belly's
  5. Happiness
  6. Strength to get through the hard times.
  7. A couple of Terry's Chocolate Oranges (you know because I have been good this year)
So that's what I want for Christmas whether I get them from you all at once or slowly throughout my life I would be happy. The chocolate I would prefer for breakfast Christmas morning. 

I can't wait to see you come to life in my daughters eyes, I can't wait to be told great tales they'd tell Nick and I about you, that would be no.8 on my list please for our children, our beautiful baby girls to grow up and believe in the magic of Christmas, to be believe in you for as many years possible because they deserve to, all children deserve to believe, to feel the magic of Christmas, I did and I'm thankful I got that chance for as long as I had it for. So thank you Santa Claus.

The name on the undecided list

Zoe :)


12 Days of Blogmas - Day Three - Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

'Oh, the weather outside is frightful, But the fire is so delightful, And since we've no place to go, Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow.' - Bing Crosby

There is something a little magical when that first snow of the year begins to fall in December, it's very peaceful at night as well to watch the snow fall on to the blank white carpet of snow that has already fallen that illuminates the darkness. The first crunch in the fresh fallen snow is a sound you will always remember, the gentle freeze of falling snow on your face being something you'll smile over or when you build the best snowman you can make. Snow is just great. I love it.

Snow is magical, it lights up the dark and brings character to the light. It's one of those things though that you love when it first arrives, you may get sick of it once it freezes and you start to fall onto your butts in public and then you miss it when it goes. That's snow.

'It's just my favourite time of the year, The whole world changes colour. We go back, snow and me. We have a beautiful history.' - Lorelai Gilmore 





























Some of my favourite pictures I've ever taken are of those of snow, everything is covered in white, the area just glows and shines and I think it's so pretty and when you've woke up first thing in the morning and it's all fresh and the only prints in the snow is of the animals that have ventured out into the new day, you don't want to go out in it to disturb the peaceful beauty of it.

'I'll never outgrow the excitement of looking out my window and seeing falling snow.'





























I will always remember this Christmas these photos were taken in, it was the first time in I don't know how many years I had actually seen this amount of snow fall, it was so strange because the day before the snow fell, it was completely clear, it was mild and the sky was clear and the sun made the countryside glow, in it's oranges and reds, then the next day it was white, crisp and cold. It was beautiful.

'A Snowflake is a winters butterfly.' 

That last quote is for Julie, she knows. Haha. 


Do you love snow? Or are you one of those that stay in doors and avoids going out in it as much as possible? 

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day Two - 24 Facts About Christmas

I thought I knew a lot about the festive season, I knew over eating Chocolate Santa Claus was acceptable and that wearing over-sized crazy festive jumpers was the fashion and the turkey was something everyone always ate for Christmas lunch, yet in reality I knew sod all about Christmas and it made me sad because I love Christmas.


Whilst I was researching about this most wonderful time of the year (I'm going to throw that in a lot) I was pleasantly happy with what I found out so I thought why not throw some Christmas trivia at you. Here it goes. Enjoy. x


  1. The Germans actually made the first artificial Christmas tree, out of dried out goose feathers.
  2. Did you know all the gifts in the 12 Days of Christmas would equal to 384 gifts.
  3. The traditional colours of x-mas are Green, Red & Gold. Green the symbol of life and rebirth, Red the blood of Christ and Gold represents the light as well as wealth and royalty.
  4. Oh Santa would have to travel at the speed of 2,34.000 mph to reach every home by Christmas (I wouldn't like to be that elf whose job it'd be to clean the windshield)
  5. If you're as bad as me and never remember all names of the reindeer - Blitzen, Donner, Cupid, Comet, Vixen, Prancer, Dancer, Dasher and Rudolph.
  6. Santa has different names all over the world, Kriss Kringle in Germany. Le Befana in Italy. Pere Noel in France and Deushka Moroz (Grandfather Frost) in Russia.
  7. The highest grossing festive movie is 2000's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Racking in £175 million.
  8. Gold-wrapped Chocolate coins commemorate St Nicolas who gave bags of gold coins to the poor.
  9. Robins on cards were a joke 150 years ago when postmen wore red tunics and were named after them.
  10. Wow. Nearly 60 million Christmas Trees are grown each year in Europe.
  11. One is the number of Mince Pies you should eat on each day of the 12 Days of Christmas to bring good luck.
  12. During the Christmas of 1914 (WWI) a truce was held between Germany and the UK, they decorated their shelters, exchanged gifts across no mans land and played a game of football between them.
  13. The people of Oslo, Norway donate the Trafalgar Squares Christmas Tree every year in gratitude to the people of London for their assistance during WWII.
  14. Christmas Trees were first decorated with foods such as Apples, Nuts and Dates.
  15. Tinsel was once actually made from real silver being invented in Germany.
  16. 'X-Mas' came into general use from the church (not lazy people who can't write it fully haha) the X is the Greek letter Chi which means Christ, that translates to x-mas.
  17. Bing Crosby's - White Christmas in 1942 is the best selling Christmas song of all time. (My All Time Favourite Christmas Song)
  18. The worlds tallest Christmas Tree stands at 221ft high, it was erected in a Washington shopping mall in 1950.
  19. In 1999, residents of the state Maine, USA built the worlds biggest ever Snowman, standing 113ft tall.
  20. Kissing under the mistletoe is thought to spring from Frigga, the Norse Goddess of love, who was associated with the plant.
  21. Hanging stockings out comes from Dutch custom of leaving shoes packed with food for St. Nicolas's donkeys and he would leave small gifts in return. How sweet is that.
  22. Hanging presents in trees may come from the Druids who believed the tree was the giver of all good things.
  23. Christmas pudding was originally a soup made with raisins and wine.
  24. The world's largest Christmas present was the statue of Liberty, the French gave it to the US in 1886, standing at 151 ft high and weighs 225 tons. (That wouldn't go sitting under no Christmas Tree)
So there you have it, 24 facts about Christmas. I actually did find so much more but these 24 I thought were the best, and seeing as there are 24 days leading up to Christmas Day I thought it was only fitting for there to be only 24 facts.

If you knew five or more of these facts please leave a comment to let me know, and if not let me know if anything here surprised you.


I'm trying to swing for a Statue of Liberty sized gift myself this year, doubt my tree will be big enough for it though. Hehehe or actually it should be Ho, Ho, Ho 

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

12 Days of Blogmas - Day One - Favourite Things About Christmas

I love Christmas and I feel like I can confidently say I'm not alone in this. Christmas is such an amazing time of the year, to spend with friends and family. Making new memories and reminiscing old ones. Taking part in old traditions and making a few new ones. Oh Christmas you beautiful thing.


My Favourite Things about Christmas

This list really could go on forever, I could sit, stand, walk and talk to you about all my favourite things about this time of year but I won't. There is so much I enjoyed from when I was young to an adult to now as a parent, Christmas has changed for me through the years, some in good ways. So yes here is my list of favourite things about the most wonderful time of the year. (yes I sang that)

Watching Christmas Movies

I think this is a timeless tradition we all may share, but there is nothing better in the morning, afternoon or evening when it's cold and dark outside to cuddle on the sofa under your best blanket to watch that Christmas movie that you love or movies you can't help but watch all at once on the 1st of December.

Christmas Smells

Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Holly, Snow, Cold Air, Turkey and Stuffing, Oranges, Cranberries, Ginger bread cookies, Hot Chocolate, Shortbread cookies, Apple, Peppermint, the smell of the inside of a rose's tin of chocolate, Ritz crackers, KP salted peanuts, those are just some of the smells that just sing Christmas to me. I love how these smells fill our homes. I also love all the Christmas scent candles that come in such great scents.

Christmas Shopping

Now I know a lot of people dread the shopping side to Christmas, whether it's last minute or you have that one person on your list you can never find anything for. But I really enjoy it, well a part from that one time I had to go into town on Christmas Eve that wasn't fun for me. I love the rush and excitement, you start to wonder, will they like it? Or you come across the perfect gift you just know they'll love. 

Decorations

Whether these decorations are indoors, outdoors, in shop windows, in shopping centres and covering little towns, Christmas decorations are fun, for me it really does start to feel like Christmas when you start to see all the decorations around, I love the feeling of bliss you get once you untangle your fairy lights and are weaving them between the branches of your Christmas tree, placing pretty ornaments and sparkly baubles to dangle freely. 

Screaming Along to Christmas Songs

Now this is one of my favourite things to do, in the car, at home, in my head around town. So whether you are good or bad at singing when a Christmas song comes on the radio you can't resist singing along, whether you're screaming 'It's Christmas' or you're standing with Band Aid belting out 'Do they know it's Christmas time' Other than decorations Christmas songs join them in getting you in the festive spirit.

Spending Time With Family

Christmas is that great time of year where you may be forced to spend time with those family members you only see at Christmas but when you spend this time of year with the ones that are always there, and you are celebrating together, eating, drinking and opening presents together it's amazing because you see those family members differently than any other time of the year. It's quite magical watching others opening their gifts or watch someone get surprised with an engagement ring in their cracker and believe they won the top cracker prize. Best Christmas moment ever!!

Wearing my Onesie

This I am more excited for than ever because for the last two year I have been too big to wear it but now it fits me again and it is the warmest thing ever. I love my onesie and can't wait to get it in after those long cold days.

Watching Our Daughters Get Excited about Christmas

Mia will be 2 this Christmas and Robyn will 7 months, Robyn will have no idea what will be happening but she'll know something is going on. Mia on the other hand will know a little more on the decoration and present side, she'd still a little too young to fully understand Santa Claus but she understands presents, and going on how she unwrapped her birthday presents, Christmas morning in our home will be like a horror film after the killers killed everyone. I just pray she won't want to take off all the decs like last year, that would be a dream come true. 


Christmas is the greatest time of year to enjoy the big and small things, to have fun and spend time with those you love.

Do we share some favourite things about Christmas? Is your favourite things not on this list, I'd love to hear you favourites.

Thursday, 8 December 2016

What Ifs? Questioning the Inevitable, Looking Back at the Paths Untaken.

So I've been thinking the last couple of days, thinking about this journey I'm on and what had led me to this point in my life. You know when you start thinking whether you would be in the same place you are now if you took another path, I had a path to go down but right at the last minute a path literally popped out of no where, out of the blue and I stepped on and followed it to where I am now.

Now with the end of another year I seem to find myself thinking a little philosophical, it's just something that happens at the end of every year, I hope I'm not the only one out there that does this.

So let me tell you a story, it was 2009 and I was signing up, I don't mean Job Centre I'm talking Armed Forces. I was given my application and was told I just needed to lose half a stone to join. I started running and exercising, there I was 16 years old getting myself ready to join the army. I was choosing a life that would change me forever, a life I was at the time willing to change myself for. I lost the weight but something didn't feel right I was on the edge of actually joining and it didn't feel right anymore. I cried and confessed this to my mum and she just told me it's ok, I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. I thought I would be seen as a failure, someone who walks away easily but I wasn't.


I'm glad I never because if I did I would have missed out on the one year of my life that changed me completely, physically and mentally, I'm not saying that wouldn't have happened in the army but what did happen I believe has shaped me into who I am today. I had to be strong, supportive and try not to crumble when I could have, I chose to be strong, I chose to be supportive in those times, not because I felt like I had to, I did it because I wanted to, it felt right to stay where I was in that year.

Between November 2009 to September 2010, I stayed away from everything, I tell people I took a break from further education, I did but that wasn't my goal. It's a personal thing but I stayed home to be with my mum after her divorce. Anyways in May I got this phone call from a careers adviser who told me she was ringing to tell me that 'I had been out of school for nearly a year, what was I looking on doing?' Further education never interested me so that wasn't something I was into, but she asked if I wanted to I could come in for an appointment and see what options I had. I went and I took some of my drawings. She was a lovely lady and showed me a college brochure one that had one of the best Art & Design courses and gave me the date for the open day.

I went with my mum because I was so nervous and I'd been out of any type of other human communication I was so scared, I applied but really didn't think I was going to get in. I did get in and had to borrow the tuition money from my granddad who I love and I got my college pass and photo taken. I was excited but so nervous, feeling more sick than ever.

My first day of college I remember standing there my feet at the gate screaming at myself in my head, 'walk in, go, move your feet,' I eventually did and I stood behind everyone else whilst we were told what class we needed to go to. I didn't hear my class and everyone disappeared leaving myself and Tomas another newbie who didn't hear the class room number. He now happens to be one of my closest friends even now 6 years later. We go to class and our tutor pairs us off and we have to get to know each other, this is where I meet Shanee another who I consider my best friend, how we're still friends after 6 years is beyond me. I compared her to an Oompa Loompa during the first week. (Only because of her height, calm yourselves)


Those three years spent in college were the best a person suffering with severe anxiety to have. I developed as an artist and my confidence grew more than I ever pictured it doing. During my last year of college I crashed a little a took a month out, came to Cornwall to figure out what I wanted, I was lost all of a sudden. Eventually I came home and finished college I didn't want to quit so close to finishing. College was over in 2012 and at the end of that summer I had planned and in the diary I was to spend my 21st birthday in Cornwall, unaware at that point that I would also be meeting Nick that night.

Now I go back to thinking, none of this above would've happened if I'd joined the army. I wouldn't have grown as an artist if I went, or as a writer, I could've have left that artistic/creative side of me behind, I wouldn't have met friends for life if I hadn't. Maybe I would have but they would've been different people, This thought process always gets me thinking about what if? What if I did join? I would never know but looking back and seeing all that has happened, it scares me to think it may never have been.


The message I'm trying to say is, yes you may not have had an easy ride, just look back and find that moment that could've taken your life into a different direction. I've been through some mentally challenging stuff over the last 7 years but looking at who I am today and seeing my children grow the way they are and living in the place I love with the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I wouldn't change anything. Because it all got me here. Here typing away to share this with you guys.


I know some have been through worse but I've met some people in my personal life and blogging life who have been through hell and back and they have turned their lives around for the better, They're incredible people who I feel privileged to have got to known. Life is always going to throw giant balls of turd at us and it isn't about how you can move out of the way, it's about getting hit and knowing your own strength to wipe it off your face and stand up tall against it.

XX

Does anyone else feel like the end of the year is a time to reflect and think back? Or just me?

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life - I watched it and drank too much Coffee doing so. *SPOILERS*

As the voices of Lorelai, Luke, Rory, Emily, Richard, Michel, Sookie, Paris and Lane come through the darkness we are thrust into the past to remember all that we have watched and all we have loved about our beloved Gilmore Girls, then catapulted back to the present, 10 years on to view a year in the life.

Snow has fallen in Stars Hollow where we meet Lorelai sitting on the gazebo to be met by Rory and the fun begins. We are instantly reminded of all that we loved about the two. I would buy that snow globe by the way. Kirk is just as lovable and satisfyingly annoying than ever, and he has a little piggy, ah little Petal is the newest addition to Stars Hollow, that we know of yet. 

'I smell snow'

Lorelai calmly states and soon after snow starts to descend onto the town of Star Hollows as our favourite and ONLY town troubadour sings a tune.

Seeing Luke sent my happiness meter fly through the roof and thinking that Rory hasn't wore underwear the whole four seasons creeped me out. Someone through a girl some panties! We see a Rory that is vulnerable, unsure for once and a little unclear of herself, it's strange because it's a complete opposite to the Rory we said goodbye to 10 years ago.

Michel is just the same with an added addition of a husband and the possibility of children. I know they're fictional characters but finding out that our favourites are happy in their personal lives makes me happy. I'm looking for Sookie and I can't find her.

We are introduced again to the one and only Emily Gilmore, it's set 4 months after Richard Gilmores death, oh Richard. Edward Herrmann, I don't know whether anyone else remembers this but I first saw him play Teddy Roosevelt in Annie. (YouTube it) Back to the Gilmore house, we see a giant portrait painting of him, personally I like it even in Rorys words 'it's the whole wall.' We are privileged to glimpse back to that day two months prior to the funeral of Richard Gilmore, as we see Emily, Lorelai and Rory say goodbye.

Then 'Digger' comes in. RUDE! You tried to sue him. I curse you! Moving on, was anyone a bit taken back to Emily accepting a hug from Luke, then it happens like a wave crashing into the rocks on the shore, a classic Lorelai and Emily show down.

We follow Rory to London where is working on this book proposal with a crazy British woman, then Logan happens. I was genuinely disappointed to think that Rory and Logan was a thing again. We watch Luke and Lorelai look into surrogacy and watch Lukes Wi-Fi password change multiple times to only be revealed that it's a fake password during a Doosie meltdown. We got to rock out with Hep Alien. YES, Lane rocking out on drums is still one of my favourite things to see.

Finally we end Winter seeing Emily Gilmore in jeans and seeing Lorelai agree to therapy with her mother.

We enter Spring in therapy, which is clearly not as successful and some optimists may like. We attend the Spring Food Festival, Mrs Kim is still the greatest, hasn't aged a day I have always loved her even when I've disagreed with her. OMG Mr Kim is seen, I always though Mrs Kim and Lane was like a Mary and Jesus kinda deal.

Nostalgia is foaming at the basket bidding and we are taken back to how Lorelai roped in Luke to bidding on her basket of two stale Pop-Tarts and a Slim Jim. Jackson with no Sookie, COME ON where is she?

Finding out Logan is engaged and his fiance isn't Rory made me so happy but then I got disappointed in both of them, then happy that there was still hope for Jess. 

We experience another Paul Anka dream with Lorelai and if I was Jennifer Lawrence I would definitely stay at the Dragonfly Inn. We get to again watch a film by Kirk, we all remember his first 'I Love Your Daughter' so we sit again to watch Kirk kill a pig, only in film not for reals, haha I didn't do that on purpose, I swear.

Some of my favourite episodes from the original series was those at Chilton, Rorys Graduation was one of my favourite episodes, her valedictorian speech still makes me well up, so now we see her and Paris return, where we see once again headmaster Charleston, Franci and a very aged, very different Tristan. 

The girls take New York by storm for the day, for a piece for GQ about lines. I know us Brits are the rulers of lines and queues but there is no way I'd wait in line for pastry. OMGoodness that little girl from Hope Floats is all grown up, damn how many more times through this am I going to made to feel ancient. Oh and yea Rory slept with a Wookie.

We exit Spring seeing Rory through out all her mobile phone devices, all three of them and move back home to Stars Hollow. 

Entering Summer by the pool with Lorelai and Rory, who are avoiding speedo wearing peeps walking past. Rory is back although she says she isn't but she is, she's back. We join Luke, Lorelai, Rory and April sit for dinner, she is so grown up, being introduced wearing a nose ring this time instead of that bike helmet/brace. 

"Excuse me Mr Hasselhoff," I'm no Hoff fan but Luke in a lifeguard t-shirt I might just go ahead a pretend to drown. Babette and Patty may just be my favourite duo and they both look great, I love Babettes wit and humour. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about the musical we saw, even the second time I watched it I wanted to fast forward it. I feel like I was Lorelai for a moment watching it.

The 30 something club is not cool.

Aaghagghsgahga. Jess! It's Jess. I bet you can guess I'm totally Team Jess, he has always been in my eyes the best boyfriend for Rory, yes he strayed a little, but I feel his the only one that never tried to change her, he wanted her to stay in school. He encourages her to write a book and what to write about. He is the only one that has wanted her to keep writing. Logan and Dean really have nothing on Jess. Can I just talk about that ring on his finger. Did he win the Superbowl or something. It's huge!

We finish Summer with some realisation. Rory starts to write her story and Lorelai decides to do Wild, the book not the film. I've been meaning to watch the film but after this I think I'm going to read the book first.

We fall into Fall in a motel room with Lorelai in her room of oranges, browns and DNA samples, she is packing to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. At this point I'm curious to see how this is going to end, how can they fit all I'm expecting in an hour and a half. Luke is lost, Rory is seeing message wearing pigs and Jess is still in town, I loved his early Christmas present for Lukes by the way.

Seeing a lost Lorelai is horrible, herself and Rory used to be so sure, so knowing of what they wanted. 

Seeing the Life and Death Brigade one last time was great. Colin, Finn and Robert oh and Logan was there. Finn was always my favourite, flashbacks began of him dressed as John Travolta from Pulp Fiction was a happy vision to re-see. I couldn't actually help but laugh out loud when he started talking to the deer head, I think it's the accent. That little Wizard of Oz moment between Rory and the three of them was so nice. I thought that was great as a final farewell between them all. BYE Logan!

That moment Lorelai has when she comes across that mountain pass and she looked out upon it, you could tell she was done that's what she needed. Then that phone call to her mother about her father, the story she told, the story she should have told at his funeral, that moment was beautiful. Got me crying the first time and I couldn't hold back the tears the second time I watched it. We had seen Lorelai push out her parents a lot and disagree with them so much but in that moment you forgot all the arguments, disagreements and dislike she had towards them, especially towards Richard.

So Lorelai returns home to Luke where he thinks she is going to end there relationship and we see Luke fight for their relationship, this moment might be the best in the whole four seasons. Seeing Luke that passionate and loving towards her and what they've built over the last so many years was great, I feel like he needed to express himself in that way, he needed to burst and it was great. That scene ends with an engagement. There's going to be a wedding. Yay!

Rory chooses to write her book at the Gilmore house, we see flashbacks of all four sitting at the table for Friday Night Dinner, in the kitchen we hear the voices of Rory, Emily and Richard debate whether a pizza is dinner worthy. She then enters Richards study, opening the door to see Richard sitting there working away, when that happened my heart literally sank. I've been a crying mess since Winter. 

Seriously though when Rory pushed across the table those three chapters to Lorelai and that front page read 'The Gilmore Girls' I burst into tears. It was like One Tree Hill all over again. I was though expecting this to happen and because it did it made it all so much better.

Emily said BULLSHIT, three times! Haha! Bullshit, three times. Bullshit. Yes Emily, Yes. Her sass and no fucks given attitude is liberating. Go Emily.

I didn't know how I would feel when I saw Christopher but my jaw dropped, ten years have passed dude, do you know what ageing is? 

It bought me joy hearing Emily say 'Show me the Money,' we see Lorelai make one more deal with her mother for money that is leant. Nantucket seems like a lovely place to spend two weeks in the summer for her.

Rory runs into Dean at the market and he sounds happy, it's great. I know a lot of people didn't like Dean but when I first saw him, the first thing I thought was, 'Isn't there demons to be hunting Sam?' Can you tell I'm a Supernatural fan.

Sookie comes in right at the end and all though it was short, it was sweet and all that cake. I counted 12 wedding cakes and I'm a little upset I got no invite, I love me some cake, stupid diet won't met me have any though. That little zucchini patch on that milestone cake though was wonderful, more memorable episodes were remembered. Michel having a meltdown needed to happen but seeing Lorelai and Sookie together again was great, two friends, best friends.

Lorelai finally gives her blessing to Rory writing the book and suggests she drops the 'the'. I would read that book by the way if it was actually being written and released. 

No Luke, it's not over, no-one has ever looked at Rory like Jess has, that's true love baby.

Being able to watch Luke and Lorelai get married the way they did was magical, it was long waited but so great to see, especially with who joined them, Michel and Lane. From episode one we have been Team Luke and Lorelai, day one they were meant to be, then during those final last minutes it all ends how it began, Lorelai and Rory are sitting in the gazebo once again and we hear finally four last words spoken. 

"Mum"
"Yea"
"I'm Pregnant,"

The first time watching it I screamed 'WHAT' at my TV so loud I made my children jump.

All I can say now is I hope they make no more episodes because it has come a full circle, but I'll say one last thing. I believe Logan is the father but he would be to Rory who Christopher was to Lorelai and Jess will be to Rory who Luke was to Lorelai. 

FULL FREAKING CIRCLE.